What to do what you think you messed up.

Gillian welcomes questions from her readers and viewers. So it you have a burning question about dating, email her the question and she may use it, anonymously, in her blog.

Gillian,

I think I messed up what could have been a good relationship but I’m not sure how to clean it up or if I should even try. I had been emailing with a guy and we met for a drink. We had a very nice date, I liked him and I think he was impressed. After the date, he invited me for a second date and I accepted. Then I suggested a restaurant where we could meet but he didn’t want to go there. I kept trying to convince him because it’s a really nice place but he went silent on me. Should I reach out or move on?

-Felicity

Dear Felicity,

Everyone makes mistakes, and that goes for dating too. Maybe your new friend might have thought the restaurant was expensive or unsuitable – and he obviously doesn’t like being pressured.

Usually, the person who suggests the date decides where to meet. In other words, he probably wanted to make the decision about the location. You took over his role and he wasn’t comfortable with that.

It’s not too late to apologize for pressuring him. If I were you, I’d reach out, apologize and ask him to suggest a meeting place. If he responds, take it gently from there and allow him to be the man. Sometimes we women become very independent after a few years alone and think nothing of jumping in when making decisions. In the case of dating, we might need to reconsider our usual behavior and allow the more feminine side of us to come to the front.

If the gentleman doesn’t respond, that means he’s moved on or decided this isn’t the right relationship for him. In that case, let things be and don’t write him again. We always learn from our failed relationships, short-lived as they might be. They can be very helpful lessons in dating going forward.

Good luck!

Gillian